“And this new commandment I give unto you.
Be it unto all nations that ye shall commemorate my birth yearly. This shall be done in remembrance of me.
And wo unto any among you that do not obey this command, for they shall be cast out and judged with a harsh judgment.”
Are you wondering where this scripture is in the Bible? Well, you aren’t going to find it because I made it up.
Jesus never asked us to celebrate Christmas.
In fact, the Jews of that time didn’t traditionally celebrate birthdays. This was a custom popular among Egyptians, Persians, Syrians and Greeks, but not Hebrews. This doesn’t mean they didn’t ever mark the occasion. A feast was held when a child turned two and was officially weaned. This would be a big deal since the infant mortality rate at the time was 28% before the age of one. So surviving infancy was something to be celebrated.
Another milestone was becoming an adult. For young boys this was around age 13, and for girls it was around age 12. Men would now be held responsible to know the law (the Torah) and woman could enter into a vow (get married). Today we know this as Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah. For boys, this started around the Middle Ages. For girls, the first Bat Mitzvah happened in the United States in 1922. Congrats to Judith Kaplan, she was the first one!
So, if Jesus never asked us to celebrate Christmas, and there is no evidence any of the early Christians marking the occasion, why do we do it?
That’s a pretty long and complicated answer with differing opinions. It’s also not what I want to write about. Instead, I want to talk about why YOU specifically celebrate Christmas and how it’s going for you. Do you look forward to the season every year? Is it a time of joy and happiness for you? If so, great. Sadly, that’s not true for everyone.
According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people surveyed reported an increase of stress during the holiday season. This can lead to physical illness, depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Additionally, The National Alliance on Mental Illness says that 64% of those living with a mental illness find that their condition worsens around Christmas time.
Here are some suggestions as to why Christmas can be hard for some of us:
Financial pressures- not having enough money or due to overspending
By the way, did you know that Joel Waldfogel estimates that we lose 10% to one-third the value of a gift because of what we are willing to spend on a gift vs. what a recipient would be willing to spend for that same item? To read more about the deadweight loss of Christmas gift giving and how to combat it, click here.
Time pressures – people feel they don’t have enough time to accomplish all they have plans for
Family Dynamics – this can be spending time with those you normally avoid, feeling like your partner isn’t doing any “heavy lifting” with preparations, or navigating difficult family dynamics
Expectations – People might have higher, and unmet, expectations around the holidays
Even if you aren’t experiencing anything I just listed, it’s reasonable to say that 2 out of every 5 people you interact with during the holidays is. What can we do about it?
#1 Let’s Call a Truce
As Christmas approaches, I see lots of memes that say “Jesus is the reason for the season” or “Put Christ back into Christmas” (with all do respect to Tammy Wynette). While I believe this is well intentioned, it can feel like we are judging those who don’t include Jesus in their Christmas celebrations. I think we need to give them a break. Let’s be kind to those who:
· Say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”
· Don’t have a nativity set in their home
· Never sing “Silent Night” on Christmas Eve
· Only use Santa Claus decorations
If Jesus isn’t upset about it, why should we be?
On the flip side, I think we also need to be kind to those of us who like to use this time to remember the Savior’s birth. We shouldn’t make them feel like they need to apologize or be embarrassed that they want to dedicate time each year to remember an event that is important to them.
When I lived in New York City, I lived near many Jewish communities. I saw Hanukkah decorations at many places of business. I heard people wishing each other “Happy Hanukkah.” I didn’t get offended or mad. I didn’t tell business owners that they needed to put up a Christmas tree next to their Menorah in the window. My hope is that those who aren’t Christian or celebrate Christmas, can do the same in their own communities.
Let us all give each other space to celebrate what we want, how we want, and even, WHEN we want.
I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care when his birthday celebrations begin or end, since he never asked us to do it in the first place. Can we please let people play Christmas music and watch Hallmark movies whenever they feel like it? If they want to start celebrating before Halloween, great. If they want to wait until the day after the fourth Thursday in November, that’s great too.
When we make others feel bad for how they do or don’t celebrate Christmas, I imagine Jesus would say something to similar to what he said to those who asked him,
“Lord, Lord have we not prophesied in thy name?”
“And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” (See Matt. 7:22-23)
In my opinion, if we really want to celebrate this season to honor Jesus Christ, we wouldn’t make anyone else feel judged, manipulated, or inadequate. Let’s follow Jesus’ example and just love as he loved.
#2 Let’s Start with a Clean Slate
While my first suggestion is about how to treat others, my second is how to treat ourselves. Years ago, I read my ancestor’s journal about a Christmas she had her first year away from home. It was simple and sounded delightful. If you’d like to read what she wrote, click here.
After I read it, I realized I didn’t feel the same way about Christmas as she did. I decided I was going to take charge of my own Christmas and make it what I wanted it to be. I wiped my Christmas clean of all the traditions, rituals, and events. I asked myself, “What do I want my Christmas to be?” Through the years it has morphed into a season that I really enjoy.
If wrapping gifts and going to Christmas concerts brings you joy, great! Then do it! But if there is anything about the holiday season that is stressing you out, just remember, Jesus never asked for this holiday. You can’t do it “wrong.”
What DOES Jesus Want, if Not Christmas?
If Jesus never asked us to celebrate Christmas, then what did He ask for? Jesus asked us to remember his death. At the Last Supper, he introduced a sacrament or Eucharist.
“And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.
Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.” (See Luke 22:19-20)
Christian faiths differ as to how often they believe this should be done. In the LDS faith, it is usually done weekly except on Sundays when a conference is held. In the Catholic faith, the communion should be received at least once a year, but many choose to receive it more frequently. Other churches do it monthly, or bi-monthly.
What I find interesting about the sacrament is that it doesn’t seem to cause the same stress or emotional toll that Christmas does. Imagine if we talked about taking the Sacrament the same way we do about Christmas.
· “Did you have a good sacrament on Sunday?”
· “Are you going anywhere to take the sacrament?”
· “I have so much to do before communion this week.”
· “I’m so stressed about Eucharist.”
· “I can’t believe some people are planning to take the sacrament next Sunday, that’s just too soon! We haven’t even had Thanksgiving yet!”
Is it possible to approach Christmas with the same feelings and attitudes as we do our sacrament or communion?
Wishing you a merry Christmas,
Heather Ruth Pack
Join the Conversation
I asked my Times of Faith community how they feel about the stress of Christmas. Here’s what Samantha S. wrote,
“Christmas has become magical for us because it's become focused on the mood of our home.”
And Pam C. says, “Decades ago we eliminated some of the stress by embracing the Three Kings as the mysterious gift givers on the night of January 5th as January 6th is Dia de Los Reyes or Epiphany.”
What about you? What changes have you made through the years to make Christmas more enjoyable?
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Are you curious as to how I reduced the stress of Christmas?
The article "How I Reinvented Christmas" is currently featured on the Times of Faith blog. To read the article, click the button below.
Jesus Christ and Women in the New Testament Now on YouTube
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